Many times dads can feel left out when it comes to breastfeeding. What can they do to help? They can't feed the baby and often times newborn babies want to nurse frequently and cluster feed. Men can feel not only left out, but also worried something may be wrong. So what can dad do to help support a breastfeeding mother and bond with the baby?
First off, make sure dad is informed. If possible attend a breastfeeding class together. Even a local LLL meeting would suffice. Sit down together and read through websites and blogs that outline normal newborn nursing behavior.
Inform him of just how important breastfeeding is for you and how much you want to succeed. Many dads will say things like "it doesn't work for everyone" or "some formula isn't going to hurt" not realizing these statements can undermine your confidence. Knowing your partner is on your side and motivating you will help on those sleepless nights.
Let him know not to take the crying and attachment to mom personally. This phase is very short in their life and around 6 - 8 weeks most babies stretch out their feedings and become much more interested in the world around them. Babies don't understand yet that dad wants to hold them too. All they understand is they are hungry and tired and want to nurse!
So what can dad do in those early weeks to bond and help out?
LOTS!
- Bring you water or food during those long nursing sessions. Water and proper nutrition is key to maintaining a good milk supply!
- sit with you while you nurse. You may be nursing the baby but there is no reason dad can't cuddle with you both!
- Have him do diaper duty! It may not sound like a great job, but typically breastfed poop doesn't smell!
- Burping! Hand baby off to dad for a few good pats while nursing.
- Bath time is a great opportunity for dad and baby to bond. Encourage dad to do baths!
- babywear! Many dads wear their babies in carriers and wraps around the house.
- Do skin to skin cuddles. Mothers are encouraged to do skin to skin, but dad can do it to!
- Figure out what time of day baby usually is happiest/naps the longest. Encourage dad to hold/interact with the baby during this time. Many times dads who work feel discouraged because they come home at the peak "witching hour" time so baby is fussy and doesn't want anyone but mom. See if more morning before work cuddles are possible.
These websites have some great resources for dads about breastfeeding! Share them with your significant other.
http://kellymom.com/pregnancy/bf-prep/bf-links-father/
http://www.newdadmanual.ca/manual-article.php?SectionID=2&ArticleID=3
There are also many online groups, forums, and blogs for dads to specifically talk about being a dad!
Many women hear over and over "dad needs to give baby a bottle to bond". Yes, there is no harm in having dad give baby a bottle occasionally however as you can see there are many things dad can do that don't require a bottle!
