As dreams of baby doing the breast crawl and that perfect first latch in all of its euphoria are snatched from your freshly postpartum mind, you stare at your new baby tied to tubes, struggling, not being held and comforted but instead alone on a mattress.
Instead of the idyllic golden hour, your baby was whisked away to be cared for by specialists. As grateful as you are, the natural cocktail of postpartum emotions coupled with the shock and trauma of your baby needing more than you can provide nearly sends you reeling into an immediate post partum depression.
What is a mom to do when her baby needs NICU care but she also desires to provide the baby breastmilk? There are so many variables at play. So many additional thought processes and considerations. Doctors and specialists are supporting baby with various therapies and treatments and the mom is often left to navigate a new medical world while also navigating new motherhood.
When my third son arrived nearly 6 weeks early, I felt cheated out of all of the first precious moments I had with my other babies. Not only that, but I was in utter shock that my baby was not allowed to nurse. What do they mean I cannot breastfeed him? Are they not going to feed my baby? Breast milk is the food of the gods, right? I desperately desired to hold my precious newborn to my breast and offer safety and nourishment.
I listened to the team of professionals. I worked on hearing them and truly tried to understand their intentions and reasoning. However, I also engaged them in conversations about breastfeeding. When will it be safe for my baby? What steps need to be taken to assure baby gets my milk? What are signs that baby is ready? When is it safe medically to attempt to nurse?
These are all questions I asked and wrote down responses to. NICU moms quickly realize they are their child’s advocate. You are the one that remembers things often not brought to the forefront of the conversation.
So, from one mama to another, I offer up a list of ideas for how to
establish a breastfeeding relationship in the NICU.
1) Take care of yourself. Baby needs you. Baby will eventually need your milk. Drink. Eat. Sleep. Really, don’t forget these things. No amount of crying and praying at baby’s NICU crib will help as much as keeping yourself healthy and ready to get milk to baby.
2) Ask questions and present your ideas. Yes, it is intimidating to be surrounded by professionals, but your baby has only one birth mother. You are created to advocate for him or her. Speak up and engage with the team about your baby’s care.
3) Ask for lactation to support you. Request a pump if baby cannot nurse immediately.
Pump every 3 hours around the clock. The NICU can provide labels and storage containers as well as freeze your milk.
4) Accept help. Other NICU moms can become friends. Their experiences will be gold for you. Many hospitals have patient advocates and parent to parent groups that will come to you in the NICU.
Remember it is never all or nothing. Sometimes interventions are needed. Sometimes things don’t go as planned. Maybe baby can only get breastmilk through a tube. Maybe it has to be fortified. Maybe baby can only nurse once a day. Any breastmilk is beneficial.
5) Do skin to skin and kangacare as often as they will permit. Even if baby is not latched and nursing, skin to skin promotes the hormone release necessary for breastmilk production. Enjoy snuggling that precious baby.
You’ve got this, mama. You are a Dairy Queen.
