The Breastfeeding Competition

It happens. You see a woman share a photo of her first pump of the day, 12oz. You suddenly look at your own bottle filled with a measly 4oz and think “what am I doing wrong?!” A mom shares that her baby is “off the charts chunky” at 3 months all thanks to moms milk while your baby is hovering around the 5% each time. You start to wonder if something is wrong with your milk and how can you help your child catch up.

Breastfeeding today has turned into a competition. Moms who don’t have a huge freezer filled with milk, a massive pump output, and a huge chunky baby feel like they are doing something wrong. They beg for the tricks of the trade from other mothers, trying to determine how they can catch up. While the moms sharing these impressive outputs are not trying to brag, our society today has put such a pressure on moms they can feel inadequate in comparison. So what is a new mom to do?
The first thing you should do is remind yourself that breastfeeding is NOT a competition. There is no prize to the woman who produces the most milk or has the biggest baby. Just like every person is different, every baby is different. Your body will produce the perfect milk for your child in the quantity your child needs. If you had a room filled with 100 women you would discover a huge difference in eating habits and weight. One would swear she was hungry all the time and eating constantly while another could easily only eat 2 meals a day and be happy. One woman may be tall and lean and another short and muscular. Variety is all around us. 

So what is important to remember?

When you see a picture of a huge pump output, remember there is a story behind it. Maybe the mom has twins, maybe this is the first time a mom has successfully pumped well, or maybe it’s a working mom who has been struggling to pump enough. The normal pump output when you are pumping in addition to nursing on demand is only .5 – 2oz combined from both breasts. When you pump away from your baby it is 1 – 3oz combined from both breasts. http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/pumping/what-to-expect-when-pumping/

When you see a picture of a huge freezer stash of milk again remind yourself, there is a story. Most moms do not need a large supply of milk in the freezer. The mom who is sharing may have a preemie or is exclusively pumping. If you are a stay at home mom with no regular need for frozen milk, considering having about 20 – 30oz on hand. This is a good amount in case of an emergency. If you are a working mom concerned about not producing enough at work, aim for closer to 60oz on hand. Working moms especially tend to feel a pressure to have hundreds of oz in the freezer before they even return to work! The reality is that you will be feeding your baby the pumped milk from the previous day, so you don’t need a huge stash from the freezer with 500+ oz before returning to work. For new moms the extra pressure of pumping to build up “the stash” can easily make those newborn days more exhausting. It is hard enough having a newborn! 

Lastly, remember all babies come in all shapes and sizes. Even in a family no two siblings are alike. You may have one child who is long and lean while another who is a chunky monkey. Both are fine and normal. The key for infants and weight is that they should continue to gain weight on their growth curve. A growth curve is NOT a competition. It is a way for doctors to make sure your child is gaining weight appropriately. A child in the 5% who stays in the 5% is perfectly healthy. There is no need to fear something is wrong with your milk. 

So next time you see a photo of a massive pump output, freezer stash, or chubby baby smile to yourself, say “Awesome job!” and remember that you are also doing an awesome job feeding your baby.

Building a stash to go back to work

"Help! I go back to work soon and need to build a stash! What should I do?"

A few weeks before you know your maternity break is done, you should begin pumping regularly to not only get used to your pump, but to get a stash of milk together. 

I would suggest to pump once a day. The morning tends to yield the most. But keep in mind that you are right now feeding your little one full time, so an output of 0.5-2 ounces is totally normal. 

"Should I take any supply boosters?" 
Be warned, supplements come with their own side effects (fenugreek is bad for diabetics as an example). You really should research them before taking. Also, know that they will not help unless you remove more milk from your breasts. Lastly, you really don't want to boost your supply too much as the amount of milk being removed from your breasts during a work day should roughly be the same as what your little one will be nursing. Oversupply sounds nice, but it definitely comes with its own set of problems.

"How big should my stash be?"
If you think about it, you really only need enough for the first day. That's an average of 12 ounces. It is nice to have a little more, but really not much more is needed. Each day you work you should pump what you need for tomorrow. If you have a large stash, you may feel less pressure to get the amount right because you can just dip into your stash. And sabotage your supply. If you aren't pumping enough at work, you should immediately begin troubleshooting why. Is your pump not working properly? Do you have the wrong size horns? Is your daycare provider over feeding? Do you need to pump more often?

Unfortunately many times mamas that have huge stashes don't do this until months have passed and their stash is cashed and their supply has regulated down. That will be much harder to rebound from. 

If I were starting fresh today, I'd aim for a stash of 30 ounces. Enough for 2 days and an emergency bottle or two for date night. But remember, anytime you dip into your stash, you should be pumping to replace that milk.