Thursday, August 16, 2018

The Slippery Slope of Support

Support: it’s a word that gets thrown around a lot online, but what does it really mean? A lot of times a website, group, or person will say they are supportive, but when you dig deeper it turns out that they are only supportive to a point. There is normally a “but” added or an “if”. If you look up support in the dictionary it will tell you many different meanings, however the one that fits the best with breastfeeding is “actively interested in and concerned with the success of”.
Support is huge on a breastfeeding journey. A new mom who has no support will feel isolated and often times not meet her goals. It makes it harder for her to continue on her breastfeeding journey if she is being told she is doing something wrong and constantly having to defend her decisions. This is especially hard when the people who are being discouraging are friends, family, and even medical professionals. Many medical professionals will claim to be “supportive of breastfeeding” until a bump in the road occurs, then their story will change and suddenly they will instead start offering contradicting advice.
Sometimes friends and family will offer what they feel is support, however to a vulnerable new mom it is not. Being told things like “it’s okay to just give formula” or “you tried your best” can seem helpful in the moment, but may not be what the mom needs to hear. Many moms feel guilt when struggles arise on their breastfeeding journey and statements similar to those above can make that guilt worse.
So how can we offer support to breastfeeding mothers to empower them to meet their breastfeeding goals?
Most importantly is we can acknowledge her feelings. The frustration and struggles a new mom feels are common, and telling her this can help her feel normal. Statements such as “you are doing a great job” and “I know this is hard, I’m so proud of you” can really give a mom a moral boost that can help her get through a rough day. Ask a mom what she needs for help. What we think may be helpful to a mom may actually be the opposite. Don’t assume, ask.
Dairy Queens has support in our title, and our mission it to support all moms on their breastfeeding journey. Every mom and baby dyad is unique and every breastfeeding journey is different. Our goal as a group is to offer you the most up to date evidence based advice to help you meet your goals. This means we will always provide you with help and support and never judge you for your personal journey. We support moms who exclusively pump, who work, who want to wean after only a few months, and who want to nurse for 4 years. Your journey is yours alone and we are here to support you on it.